also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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