So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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