why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
