Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
