when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
