I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
