I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
