If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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