A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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