After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
