btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
