If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize