i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
