Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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