He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
