Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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