is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
