We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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