so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize