So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
