I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And then my night got REAL pukey
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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