So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
wakey wakey hands off snakey
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize