So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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