It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
