We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
