He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
