Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My cat gives me a boner
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
