This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize