Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
