You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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