Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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