just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize