It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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