There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so fucking centered right now
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize