Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
