You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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