There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
