I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
