so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
