i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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