Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
