I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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