she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
