So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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