thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
