problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
