If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
