One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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