So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
