I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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