We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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