Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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