There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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