I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
