Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
