OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
