If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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