He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
