I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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