I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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