escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
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