I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
