There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
