We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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