I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
