I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
